#atinylife yeah whatevs

My oldest drew me this picture and challenged me to write a blog to go with it. Here goes!

When I think about becoming what society calls beautiful, I think: yeah, whatevs.

When I think about becoming what society calls financially successful, I think: yeah, whatevs.

When I think about not ever buying anything that is remotely close to the latest fashion, I think: yeah, whatevs.

When I think about having a fancy holiday in the sun every summeryeah whatevs, I think: yeah, whatevs.

When I think about other people’s religion, ritual or practices, I think: yeah, whatevs.

When I think about how other people choose to parent, I think: yeah, whatevs.

When I think about other people’s taste in music, I think: yeah, whatevs.

When I think about what pre-teens say about almost everything, I think: it’s usually ‘yeah, whatevs.’

 

#atinylife stye

The wee one came downstairs looking like he’d been punched in the eye, and I would usually blame his older sibling – of course! – but a) they haven’t quite graduated to actual punching yet, and b) I’d seen it before so I knew…

it was a stye.

I know he would’ve been capable of going to school. It isn’t even impacting on his vision (he is playing Minecraft next to me as I type). But he was so sad when he woke up, and school finishes at lunchtime on Fridays. It might be a stress thing, he’s had an eventful couple of weeks at a new school. Or not.

Am I a lax parent?stye

Oh, probably.

I’m getting a bit bored of judging myself, to be honest. He’ll be fine, and I doubt it’ll impact on his overall education. He’s only 9!

#tinylife September weekend

September WeekendWe used to start our Christmas shopping

on the September long weekend we get here.

 

Until the year we stood at the mirror in the hall

and I said ‘they could share a room, anyway.’

Until the year the midwives had said ‘a line is a line is a line,’

then the bleeding started.

Until the year we had been a tiny little bit pregnant

so we went to Holy Island

now we weren’t pregnant at all, you took the toddler for a walk

so I could sit on a dune and cry.

 

Until the year we were pregnant again by October.

 

Every September weekend, I remember

the tiny little bit of pregnant I was,

over that long weekend: the anniversary of you,

you tiny little bit that never came to anything.

We never start our Christmas shopping in September.

#atinylife mornings

‘Sugar Puffs? Weetabix? Hoops?’

‘Sugar Puffs? Why didn’t you say you wanted them when I asked you?’

‘Go get dressed.’

‘Are you dressed? Why aren’t you dressed?’

‘It’s 8:15 now. Are you dressed?’

‘I’m setting a timer. If you’re not dressed in five minutes, no screen after school.’

‘OK. Stop that. You need to brush your teeth.’ Morning

‘Putting a toothbrush in your mouth on a timer is not the same as brushing.’

‘Nooooo, brush all of your teeth, not just the bottom ones on the left hand side.’

‘Do you want your hair up?’

‘OK, you just need your snack and then you’re ready.’

‘You said you didn’t want your hair up!’

‘OK. Yes, I can put it up. No, I need to brush it properly. Well you haven’t, it’s got tangles.’

‘Go. To. School.’

‘No, you CAN’T stay home today.’

 

#atinylife JuneAgain

Oh, it’s June again. I probably blogged the exact same whine last year.

June 2019 highlights so far include:-

  • waking up at 3:30am and making a ‘June’ calendar from an IKEA paper roll
  • colour co-ordinating said calendar for each family member
  • saying to myself ‘well, that’ll be OK, I just need not to add in anything else.’
  • organising two more things that same day. For June.June Again
  • scheduling a mental health day for my youngest and thinking ‘oooh duvet day for me too!’
  • losing all patience with a child who doesn’t want to go to school and telling them ‘I would be carted off to the loony bin’ if I home-schooled them. (Extra points for bad parenting AND derogatory language surrounding mental health all wrapped up in one grumpy sentence.)
  • counting down the hours to July, summer holidays, and sweet, sweet freedom!

#tinylife binaryfree

It’s tricky to make sure everyone feels included sometimes. Here are some non-binary terms for everyday use.

For a mixed group of people

binary free

Folks (see also, Folx)

People (see also Peeps)

Everyone

Team

Gang

 

Foolish Mortals, Rat Bags, Noodles, You Horrible Lot, Hominids [these are all to be said in a nice way, and as a joke, just so you know…]

Children: class, weans, kids, kiddies, wee-ones, possums, lambs, loves, my loves, campers.

For Family

Offspring, Siblings, Niblings (your sibling’s children), My oldest/youngest, My nibling, Parents, Family, Grandparent, Nuncle (goes with nibling and probably better than nunty?)

For a person of any gender

Mate, Pet, My lovely, Duckie, Honeybun, Chicken-poodle, Lambie,

Doctor, Professor, Judge, the Right Honourable, Bishop, the Reverend, Very Reverend

Your highness, oh Great One, Mighty Ruler, Wonderful Counsellor, Your Grace, the Everlasting  [these will usually be sarcastic?]

 

 

#atinylife Humility

humilityI was always good at learning songs and poems off by heart. Mr HB used to refer to it as ‘my super power,’ which made me feel special and precious.

Of course I’m now in my 40s and have two children. My head is so full of dentist appointments, maths homework and what on earth are we going to have for dinner tonight that the lyrics have all fallen out of my brain (science).

What is wonderful about this is that my oldest has inherited ‘the powers.’ They are regularly asked to regale their classmates with screeds of Hamilton, the musical. On the flip side, they are horrified at the draining of my super powers. I try to sing along with Hamilton in the car, and get berated constantly. NO, MUM THAT’S NOT THE RIGHT WORD!

Aaaah, humility. Thanks kids.