#tinylife binaryfree

It’s tricky to make sure everyone feels included sometimes. Here are some non-binary terms for everyday use.

For a mixed group of people

binary free

Folks (see also, Folx)

People (see also Peeps)

Everyone

Team

Gang

 

Foolish Mortals, Rat Bags, Noodles, You Horrible Lot, Hominids [these are all to be said in a nice way, and as a joke, just so you know…]

Children: class, weans, kids, kiddies, wee-ones, possums, lambs, loves, my loves, campers.

For Family

Offspring, Siblings, Niblings (your sibling’s children), My oldest/youngest, My nibling, Parents, Family, Grandparent, Nuncle (goes with nibling and probably better than nunty?)

For a person of any gender

Mate, Pet, My lovely, Duckie, Honeybun, Chicken-poodle, Lambie,

Doctor, Professor, Judge, the Right Honourable, Bishop, the Reverend, Very Reverend

Your highness, oh Great One, Mighty Ruler, Wonderful Counsellor, Your Grace, the Everlasting  [these will usually be sarcastic?]

 

 

#atinylife nap

I have wonderful friends. And family. I’m lucky.

But the bar can always be raised, right? Right? We all went to a friend’s house the other day. Regular readers will know about my ongoing (whining about) mental health problems. It had been one of those weeks.

What is the best thing to do to help a friend who is struggling? I am rubbish at helping other people with their mental health – I know what it feels like, not how to help.

But this friend, she knew. She didn’t ask anything of me, not even my company. I was tucked up on a day bed, in their spare room, with my youngest, and a computer playing Spiderman and the Spiderverse. I had a power nap and managed to keep up with the story.

nap

It was the best visit ever. Thanks guys!

#atinylife NoOutsiders

No Outsiders?

Angela Leadsom’s use of the word ‘exposed’ in relation to lessons about LGBT people was not OK.

However, she didn’t say (as has been reported) LGBT students represent a contagion. She was glad her own children had been expected to accept the rainbow families at their primary school.

She still wasn’t right, though. Parents can’t be allowed to withdraw their kids from any of these lessons.

She also missed a golden opportunity to explain what school-based sex ed is actually like. All lessons are age appropriate. They teach children to respect different types of families: they’re not supplying Cosmo-style sex tips.

No Outsiders

 

Lessons that celebrate diversity? Every child needs those.

For older teenagers though, imagine if there were proper queer sex ed lessons. Or even just ones which taught about female pleasure. Chance would be a fine thing!   

 

#atinylife Trauma

I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about what I let my kids see recently. Do I tell them the truth too often? Should I let them read that book/watch that film?

Then the other night the wee one came downstairs crying.

‘I’m upset about that thing you were talking about earlier.’

Oh crap.

‘Which thing?’ I was racking my brains. But he couldn’t tell me – he was too upset.

Then I remembered.

‘It was the Botox!’ He nodded and started to cry again.

Trauma

The story was about someone who had been given such bad lip fillers that her lips bled every night.

 

I told him I was sure that person had been all fixed up and was fine now.

So I’ve decided this: you‘ll never know what’s going to upset them.

I’ll just keep doing my best.

#atinylife tinyAdvent

Hi all,

December again, and lots of us are in the middle of an insane whirl of activities that come with having school-aged children: nativity-lyrics-tickets this, shopping-bankruptcy that, tinsel-candy-cane this, special-magical-day-out that.

The pressure to remain joyful is intense: and the calendar looks like a story that’s been edited by three different people in four colours of pen. Of course we want to spend time with friends and family, find perfect gifts, wrap them beautifully, reach out to old friends with a card.

But please do remember to look after yourselves too.

Seasons Greetings

And for those of you who won’t be as busy, for whatever reason, special tiny hugs to you. Yuletide can be difficult in lots of ways.

I wish you all a joyful and peaceful festive season. Looking forward to 2019 and more tinylife adventures.

tinylife will be back mid-January.

#atinylife Snow

This week I have been thinking about … snow.

I haven’t had a choice about it either way!

Snow. Then sun, replaced by snow by sun by snow.

tinylife Snow

Snow drifted to knee height at the front door.

Snow keeping us in the house, keeping Mr HB away.

Snow stopping all travel – snow giving us the first red weather warning for years. Snow silencing the roads, burying my car a little more every day.

Snow pulling a sledge with kindling and children in it (no, hang on, that was me.)

Snow bringing a whole village out onto the streets – ‘there’s still milk in the Spar!’

Snow filling a village pub on an otherwise normal Thursday, for cake and tea.

Snow, and post after post on our village Facebook page offering help to those in need.

Snow: reminding us of our amazing community.

#atinylife Yuletide

Christmas anxiety. A wash of feelings, pulling and pushing in opposite directions. I’m a sociable person, I love my friends. Now it’s December yuletideand I’m all ‘hopefully we can catch up before Christmas?’

I invite, or accept invitations, with joy, and then approach the days themselves with dread. Will I spend hours on my return, mulling over a throwaway comment I made, seeking malevolence in words that were not meant to hurt? Deliberately sabotaging my own friendships, and my own fragile resilience?

So last year, I stopped saying ‘let’s meet up before Christmas’ and started saying ‘have a lovely Christmas! See you next year.’

To anyone reading this who feels anxious around Christmas, I just want to say: you don’t have to see anyone, if you don’t feel like it. Look after yourself, OK? And I’ll see you next year.