We cycle most days at the moment – changed days indeed! I remember early on in lockdown puffing and panting up a hill (to be fair, I have just been diagnosed with asthma, but also to be fair there have been a lot of crisps lately). Some ‘well-meaning’ gentleman made a comment that he was walking faster than I was cycling.
That was kind.
A couple of weeks later my lovely next door neighbour saw me saddling up my two-wheeled steed and said there would be nothing left of me soon. This, despite the fact that he has probably never seen me fatter.
That was kind. He’s a great guy.
As a family, we agreed this morning that some people could benefit from being a bit more aware of the people exercising around them. But if they can’t say something nice…
I may speak in the tongues of yoga and of cycling for miles, but if I still love food, I will become neither svelte nor sinuous. And if I have fast days, or avoid dairy or meat, or if I have all faith, and chunter on about my heart health and how weight is just a number, but still love food, I am not, and will never be thin. If I give away all my Dairy Milks, and hand over my cola bottles, I may kid myself on I’m being ‘good,’ but if I still love food, I gain, um, everything …
Food is patient; food is kind; food does not insist on its own way; it is not as irritable or resentful as I am about societal beauty standards; it rejoices in my ‘wrong’doings.
It rejoices … in my fat rolls.
It always feels like the things I hold out against most vociferously are the ones I end up obsessed by.
I never wanted to live in Scotland. Didn’t feel I belonged, didn’t think there was ‘enough’ here for me. Now it’s home, and I wouldn’t live anywhere else. (See also, The Archers)
The same has come to pass with … Yoga. I couldn’t stand all that hippy, bendy, breathing stuff. What a piece of nonsense. And so expensive!
I was wrong though. Wrong about it all. Through my lovely school friends, I discovered Yoga with Adriene and can confirm that Adriene is not paying me to tell you that she is wonderful. She does not need my rave reviews, she has over 3 million followers. I am hooked. Folded.
AND I can touch my toes for the first time in twenty years!
I realised today that I got back on my bicycle six months ago.
I used to cycle twelve miles a day – commuting by bike. I’d never been so fit, before or since…
Last summer I finally did it: started dragging myself, my bike, and the kids out.
I was going to hold myself accountable (by putting it on Social Media) for exercising every day over the Christmas holidays. Thank goodness I didn’t –
There were two days when it was raining beyond the protection of any outdoor wear.
There was a day when my Mum was staying and feeling unwell.
There was a day when I was feeling unwell.
And of course there was Christmas Day!
But I did go for a walk, or a cycle, on the other days. I moved. I’ve started some yoga. I’m doing my tiny best.