‘What are you doing for your 40th?’
No one cares whether you celebrate your 34th birthday, or your 37th, or even your 39th, but the minute you say you’re 40 this year, this is always the first question.
And who am I to argue?
My sister is hosting a party during October, when my actual birthday is, for our immediate family.
I’ve decided not to do a big party in the village – it feels like a stress.
But this weekend, the one thing I wanted to do this year. Myself and my three pals from school. We’ve been friends for 25 years now. I can’t believe I have held onto friends for 25 years! They are awesome, inspiring, thoughtful, supportive people. We are going away to a spa together. Just us. I will be there when I post this. I can’t wait.
The warmth of his comfortable weight.
His hand fiddles
with my thumbnail,
his feet dangle
to my knees.
His hair as
soft and fluffy as
the inside of his favourite jumper,
a perfect mess of haywire strands,
always in need of a cut.
His breathing inhales, exhales through my body:
lift, then relax.
a view of angelic eyelashes.
He leans into my chest,
being pinned to the chair
by this sweetest of distractions,
all the other things I could be doing,
should be doing,
I stay here.
Let me savour this moment,
for those for whom the moment never comes,
for the years and years beyond this day
when he won’t sit on my knee anymore.
And 140 words is not enough,
to describe this,
of my son
sitting on my knee.