#atinylife calling out

As the parent of a non-binary child, I find myself often – too often – in the position of ‘calling out’ certain behaviour online.

I used to enjoy grammar policingcalling out until someone accused me, correctly, of snobbery. I spend a lot of time trying to remember how to respond when Mr HB says, ‘Stella, that’s racist.’ (Top tip: defensiveness is not how we learn. Top tip 2: we are all racist, whether we care to admit to it or not.)

I don’t relish calling out a person for pronoun use, or transphobia, or just a  not-thinking of making an online comment that is damaging/othering/offensive to the community that parent the LGBTQ community. Maybe it looks like I enjoy it.

I can assure you: I write the comment.

I worry about it.

I brace myself.

 

But not saying anything at all? Not an option.

#tinylife binaryfree

It’s tricky to make sure everyone feels included sometimes. Here are some non-binary terms for everyday use.

For a mixed group of people

binary free

Folks (see also, Folx)

People (see also Peeps)

Everyone

Team

Gang

 

Foolish Mortals, Rat Bags, Noodles, You Horrible Lot, Hominids [these are all to be said in a nice way, and as a joke, just so you know…]

Children: class, weans, kids, kiddies, wee-ones, possums, lambs, loves, my loves, campers.

For Family

Offspring, Siblings, Niblings (your sibling’s children), My oldest/youngest, My nibling, Parents, Family, Grandparent, Nuncle (goes with nibling and probably better than nunty?)

For a person of any gender

Mate, Pet, My lovely, Duckie, Honeybun, Chicken-poodle, Lambie,

Doctor, Professor, Judge, the Right Honourable, Bishop, the Reverend, Very Reverend

Your highness, oh Great One, Mighty Ruler, Wonderful Counsellor, Your Grace, the Everlasting  [these will usually be sarcastic?]

 

 

#atinylife non-binary

Recently I tweeted this:

‘Love and accept that a non-binary child will be just as annoying as a binary one.’

My non-binary 10 year old was unimpressed. ‘Rude!’ They said, with that American head waggle.

So I tried to explain.

‘Love and Accept’

Of course, this comes first. It’s the most important part.

‘That a non-binary child’

There are people who think non-binary doesn’t relate to real people, and Non Binaryespecially not children. I am keen to be unfollowed by these people on Twitter.

‘Will be just as annoying as a binary one.’

  1.    I didn’t create this in my kid.     It’s their identity, not my             choice.
  2.    I’m not the sort of parent             who worships her kids –             they’re annoying.  All kids           are lovely.  And annoying.
  3.    Being non-binary does not         create a saint child of grace         and dignity. I know … I was         disappointed too!

#tinylife Clarks: good news!

Don’t judge me for shopping for school shoes three weeks after our term started.

OKClarks, judge me if you like!

But I just had to share – especially after the whole dolly-babe nonsense – that we had the best surprise when we went to Clarks yesterday.

I was all for going to JD or Schuh, but it turns out my children are creatures of habit. So in we went, to the shop we’ve gone to since my oldest was getting their first walking shoe. They have gravitated to the ‘girls’ side since they could toddle.

Yesterday, I looked at the ‘girls’ side. And there was no girls side.

Clarks at Fort Kinnaird have mixed their shoes – they’ve got a trainer wall, and the smarter shoes are on the right.

To some people this would mean nothing. To me it means so much.